Tuesday, November 11, 2014

NaNoWriMo - Day Eleven

Well, I'm officially WAY behind on this year's novel.  If I were on track, I'd be at around 18K words, and I have just about half of that.

But, I'm not willing to concede defeat just yet.  Work stuff, cat stuff, health stuff not withstanding, there is still time to catch up.

This year's work is not likely to ever see publication, at least not in its present form.  The novel this year is a mishmash of incomplete ideas and sudden, whiplash inducing changes in direction.  I guess it's a distillation of some of the weird shit I've been reading in the last few months, mixed up with the frustration that comes with seeing most every idea I've had blow up in my face.

It's part smut, part philosophy, and nearly all unedited stream of consciousness.  It's the kind of thing I'd write all the time if I could find a way to permanently ignore or disable the inhibitions that always seem to crop up when I try to do something creative.

You could call it perfectionism, or lack of talent, or even laziness, and all of those descriptions are accurate, but none of them are complete.  But it's much simpler, and much more complicated than any of them.  It's plain old, garden variety, paralysis-inducing Fear.

And it's the devious little demon that runs my life.  It thinks it's protecting me, I suspect.  But that little bastard Fear has done me dirty for a long, long time.

This is the part of the piece where I should claim that I'm taking my life back from Fear, but I don't like to lie.  The best I can do right now is fight it to a draw, and try to regroup for the next battle.

How's that for a painfully stretched analogy?

Thursday, November 6, 2014

NaNoWriMo - Day Six

Second and last day of the equipment install at the EDJ.  Gonna get a real night's sleep and be ready to face my word deficit Friday night and over the weekend.  It's no harder than waiting until the last minute to work on a report for school.  I'll be back on track by Sunday, no sweat.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

NaNoWriMo - Day Five

Today's a wash.  I knew it would be.  EDJ (that's Evil Day Job, if you didn't know) ran me ragged with new equipment installs today, so I'm taking a non-NaNo evening.  I'll have plenty of time this weekend to catch up.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

NaNoWriMo - Day Four

Only about a thousand words today - but considering the miserable day I've had, I'm happy just to make a little progress.

I don't like to get super personal on such a public platform, so all I'll say is that if any of you have ever lost a pet unexpectedly, you understand why today has been so difficult.  Maybe I'll talk about it later, maybe not.

Real life is going to get in the way of writing tomorrow, so I'm not expecting to get back on schedule just yet, but I'm sure I can make up the deficit over the weekend if I have to.

Monday, November 3, 2014

NaNoWriMo - Day Three

Hit the first milestone today - 5000 words down, 45000 to go.  I usually get a lot more done on the weekends, so as long as I can get my minimum -1667 - on the weekdays, I don't see any trouble finishing on time.

One of my favorite memories of the one novel I finished was the part when I felt like the characters began to take on lives of their own.  For a wonderful few days, I didn't feel like I was writing the story, I was just transcribing it as it played out.  I haven't gotten to that point yet with this novel, but I'm looking forward to it.  I haven't plotted the story at all, but I'm starting to get flashes of interesting places that it could go.